Looking for a ray of sunshine from the heart of the Southern Metropolis News Tong Mei Mei

 Looking for a ray of sunshine in mind women's education Hao Yi Hao Yi Consulting Information Co., Ltd. Research Center for Women Counseling psychologists Tong Mei Mei
the formation of a negative attitude:
quoted saying: there is no reason to hate mentality of the reasons:
a person's positive attitude and negative attitude formation, the original home parents or students raising the attitude and behavior patterns of interaction form a dynamic relationship between attachment determined.
20 century, 40 years United Kingdom Psychiatry family founded the attachment theory of Bowlby. including the father of attachment, maternal attachment, peer attachment.
Bowlby Attachment established that the main period of the individual early in infancy and childhood, but the attachment relationship building is a dynamic process, continued throughout the life of the individual.
early in life, attachment object may be parents or other primary caregivers, as well as the children grow into young adults, but also extended to the companion object attachment, love object, spouse and so on. < br> Some people in interpersonal interactions would show negative emotions, is a profound sense of anxiety, both eager to establish close relationships with others, are worried that others will not respond to his love, will not establish an intimate relationship and their own .
the formation of anxiety b ambivalent or fearful avoidance. caused by this negative feeling lonely cause for anxiety.
alone means being cut off contact with society, there is no ability to exercise our human rights.
means alone and helpless, unable to take the initiative means to grasp things and people in the world mm, means that this world without my ability to play and I can be violated.
so alone is the source of intense anxiety.
one mm of all ages and cultures of all levels of people.
Bartholomew and so on adult attachment is divided into four types:
(1) safe (secure) individuals have to themselves or others has a positive model They believe they are lovable and valuable, others can be trusted, their intimacy feels comfortable and is willing to depend on others when needed; his childhood with his mother to form a stable attachment relationship. mother is the child care At the same time, encourage him to face the world, learn how to adapt, to explore and transform the external environment. In this atmosphere, children grow up, will develop two skills love and be loved, not only have the ability to love, but also to enjoy other His love of people, easy to form a stable relationship with others. secure people tend to describe themselves and others into an easy approach, optimistic and cheerful person. seldom worried about being abandoned, that their love relationship is the most important pleasant, friendly and mutual trust. secure attachment types (secure) baby believe their mother is sensitive to timely respond to the needs of their own that they are capable and worthy of love, so they will take the initiative in the troubled Find the object of attachment to get support and help.
(2) exclusion - avoidant (also translated into indifference, dismissing-avoidant) the individual's own views more actively, more negative views of others, they are close uncomfortable relationship, and tend to over rely on the self; the lack of maternal love since childhood, we were unable to develop a trust in others. they grow up, love from another person is not suited, not willing to establish close relationships with others in order to avoid being hurt. they usually refused to acknowledge their attachment needs, that the failure of love little impact on life, more focus on work. In describing the most important love relationship, they talk about most is emotional ups and downs, jealousy and fear of intimacy. In addition, the words they use to describe their parents are usually negative, often ranging from angry to get things started to clear, hostility and refused intimacy. in connection with lover together, they rarely feel close and happy. his own partner is not honest, more vulnerable to sexual relations is relatively short. Brennan believes that this style and bad relationships, jealousy and difficult to resolve social anxiety related. avoidant (avoidant) to experience the mother of the baby too much neglect, rejection and interference, so they usually avoided by relying on themselves and their mothers to self-sufficiency and avoid injury.
(3)-type entanglement (also translated To indulge type, preoccupied) individuals holding negative self model and positive other model, they want with others very close relationship, and very alert and sensitive to being rejected or abandoned, so they constantly immersed in and dwell on the interpersonal relations among the.
(4) fear - avoidant (fearful-avoidant) individuals view themselves and others are negative, their inner desire for intimate relationships, but fear and make them avoid intimacy. Attachment style, once formed, will in turn affect the individual's awareness of the outside world, so what the individual coping strategies to be effective. childhood and the formation of a contradiction between support and lack of stability of the relationship. suddenly, his mother suddenly cold hot, fickle. he could not determine how to win the mother's love. this type of kids grow up, will show a deep sense of anxiety, both eager to establish close relationships with others, are worried that their partner will not respond love, not with oneself. They described their most important relationships are fully occupied, I hope there is love in response to emotional ups and downs and intense sexual attraction. fear - avoiding the type of baby often experience the mother's inconsistent or negligent acts of support, they can not determine whether the mother will need to help themselves, but also tend to think that he is not worthy of attention and love.
results of this type of infant appeared alert and leave the mother and always entangled the relationships among negative life events will also affect the state of mind include parents death, divorce, mental disorders, drug and alcohol abuse;
parents or children suffering from fatal diseases (such as, diabetes, cancer, heart disease); children abuse in foster care or other family members simply do not
a child is seen as a separate person, a child was seen as a problem.
if he (she) to keep quiet, he (she) is good; if he does not cry, do not give trouble, he (she) is good. If he is kept within the norms of their parents, no respect, there is no love, the love of parents do not know how to respect.
control, possession, jealousy, parents can not love, they do not know what love is, they have never been filled with love.
Remember: parents just like the victims, parents, parents as well. children are expected to do certain things, but only so that the child was only love, love is conditional; children must be worth it, and then the love of parents is possible, therefore, to deserve the child and begin to disguise; children the value of the loss of the original and self-confidence.
the respect of their children gradually disappear, no matter how unjust, he must surrender, must bow, must accept, gradually increasing their no confidence, fuzzy and loss of self-concept.
self-concept:
self-concept in philosophy which is an old issue contains two aspects: self-esteem and confidence.
concept of self-esteem has a self-evaluation part.
self-esteem involves -----< br> whether they have a positive attitude?
ever feel they have a lot to be proud of?
ever feel that they are successful and valuable?
our own self-esteem and self-confidence from parents in the early years of their attitude.
or offensive matter or reprimand the child likes,
but because he (she) is just for this reason my children love their children and heart and soul.
then the children will feel they are worthy of
love, value and be proud of,
be protected and enhanced self-esteem, thus enhancing self-confidence.
With the gradual growth of the individual from dependence on adults,
proactive mindset with an independent self ideal self-evaluation and self-planning.
negative attitude of the solution:
effective fundamental solution:
--- 150 hours to complete 120 hours of professional psychological counseling treatment.
complete the regeneration 9125 days, 210,009 thousand hours (219000),
150 hours to do with the and the cause of all problems, not the real cause of the problem, every action has its behind the formation of historical reasons, this is the original family relationship between childhood parental reproduction.
a true professional spirit of self-exploration,
re-experience in psychological counseling was born, the process of growth and adult,
complete self-understanding and self-reconstruction,
in order to truly complete the out,
complete personality largest and lowest cost of the best investments.
in the future, it is far money can benefit calculation.
culture in daily life by: consciously get rid of your > inner voice out of your parents, behavior patterns, get rid of your internal procedures, to be free. have a reliable personality that is growing is a mature adult. mature person is not dependent or rely on any person; enjoy and get along with their own; with their joy with the people that peace. meditation alone is not isolated.
one day have to leave her mother's womb, if in the womb will die more than 9 months, my mother will die. One day you must leave the family environment, the womb, into the larger world. but deep within is still a child. you still want to rely on in the womb, then a layer of a layer of the uterus, to protect themselves and do not assume any responsibility the risk of decision results. that the uterus must be broken second birth as an independent person known as regeneration. completely free of parental influence. is: the only way to feel gratitude to their parents, alone and full freedom. do something new, my mother had never conceived before, my father can not think of things. each person is unique, there is such a unique world is destined to respect this unique!
see things in life the way:
with the surprised to find. you can try!
acts the way of life:
to put aside self, help others, from feelings of their own value, to be respected, to be recognized and needs.
looking for a heart strand of the sun is the source: Southern Metropolis Daily Date: [December 1, 2007] Revision: [GD11] version Name: [Guangzhou Times Magazine Health]
psychological Counseling Research Center Tong Mei Mei
--- The first is exclusion
avoidant (also translated as indifference), this type of intimacy people feel uncomfortable, and tend to over rely on the self; that the lack of motherly love may be at an early age, it is not to develop a trust in others.
second is the type of entanglement (also translated as obsessed type), the individual holds a negative self model and positive other model, they want with others very close relationship, and very alert and sensitive to being rejected or abandoned, so they are constantly immersed in and dwell on the relationships among the.
fear --- to avoid the last type, the individual views of themselves and others are negative, their inner desire to close relationships, but fear and make them avoid intimacy. attachment style, once formed, will in turn affect the individual's awareness of the outside world, and thus individuals have taken the role of coping strategies.
first type, change the daily life dependence of consciousness: consciousness out of you . mature person is not dependent or rely on any one person; enjoy and live their own; with their pleasure with the people who think the peace. alone is not isolated is a meditation, is completely free of parental influence. the only way to feel that their parents gratitude, and freedom alone sufficient.
the second type, change the view of problem solving: Common more useful? fact, the answer is all useful, just to see when and where. but also with a positive attitude towards solving problems, we might try, there will be amazed.
third type, lifestyle changes too self- : temporarily down completely self to help others, so that their feelings from others the value of their own, so to be respected, to be recognized and needs.
find a ray of sunshine in mind is the source: Southern Metropolis Daily Date: [ ,],[were become the city's mental illness. They talked about the familiar bustling day and night city, how they find boring in the obscure to the heart of the sun hh Glossary gray psychological and middle-aged men often appear depressed decadent, depressing is not music and other adverse psychological state, this state of mind called and life, but also detrimental to health. Summary of eight or nine is not often think or two with the increasing pressure of modern urban life, living in cramped metropolis, the accelerating pace of life, the vast majority of people back and forth in order to survive fatigue, people physically and mentally fatigued, the original can only be in the middle-aged man or woman who appeared in Menopause doctors have a metaphor for the transition period, China is a ) tri-color painted Chinese, will be a hierarchy, Liu Cheng and more people want to mobility. in the process of social stratification, people most materialistic meaning, lack of social responsibility, which has become the rapid spread of universal social psychology. career, family pressure and the pursuit of the ideal process The setbacks, for some people life has become unbearable weight, unable to withstand this pressure, often have a sense of loss, which is commonly known as point of view, if long-term work 12 hours or more to put pressure on the human body, and then have a . Another example is the long-term in an atmosphere of intense competition, extreme psychological make people nervous, depressed and disappointed, leading to emotional ups and, when unable to endure the mental stress overload, often can not grasp their own loss of self-control. According to the China Center for Disease Control and Prevention and the World Health Organization data indicate that, at present, cancer mortality in China reached 150 million people each year, cardiovascular disease mortality reached 300 million per year. In modern society, the burden of mental and psychological disorders are is increasing, the actual number of patients has reached 16 million. mental and physical are complementary and mutually dependent. psychological gray mood will naturally affect their health, in turn, physical health, but also can promote psychological health accordingly to help the heart to remove haze. physical health, through regular quantitative exercise, exercise to complete, plus an annual general physical examination, and timely understanding of their physical condition is very necessary; and to eliminate heart gray mood, let your mind relax, try these five ways: a change in the perspective of the world, lost the shackles of perfectionism, find a friend or two, to make life a little more change, Simply put, many find life in some wonderful, new things, and I feel pleasure naturally fresh, active lives and be a healthy person, live a healthy life, so that the gray fade from life into such as the clear blue sky, such as fresh as the green shoots. It's like in the cold winter, look up at the blue sky and white clouds, look at the sun, the mood will become warm. support a healthy balanced diet to ease the pressure, there are two bad nutrition modern tendencies, one nutrition, the other is malnutrition, which led some to diet deficiencies of certain nutrients. Therefore, the nutritional imbalance can also cause psychological. , consumption should balance, eat something and consumption to achieve a state of equilibrium, in order to alleviate stress, eliminate stress. because a healthy adult needs about 1,500 calories a day of energy, the work of a large quantity of calories you will need to 2000 heat. consumption of energy only by continually using food supplements, but to do good things in control. In addition also need to eat less irritating too much attention to food, such as spicy, fried, fried products, spicy foods amount to be reduced. except in terms of eating a balanced, the most important there is the improvement of lifestyle, to have to adapt to the sport, enhance physical exercise, exercise outside of work that is open, such as running, brisk walking, swimming, playing, etc., these movements have a good sedative Dingzhi role. Weekend travel may wish to look, make you relaxed and happy, sad, melancholy can suddenly disappear. or when the emotional low, we might try to do other things to divert attention find a friend to talk about the heart in order to eliminate this kind of psychological state. Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen, deputy director of nutrition of vegetables to eliminate dark gray physician Bian Huawei psychology in the diet, be sure to include enough daily protein, eat some vegetables such as dark colors eggplant, tomatoes, carrots, pumpkin, garland chrysanthemum, amaranth and other protein-rich beans and vegetables, or the color of fresh food such as corn, bitter and so on. some people have a lot of pressure, but quite the appetite, it may divert attention In the aspect of doing something to eat, but be sure to choose good food, attention to food, nutrition, although the appetite is good, but not excessively violent binge eating. In addition to training in the life of fun and loving life. reasonable arrangements rest time, stress and rest, to ensure adequate sleep and so on. Military General Hospital, Mental
Qiu Xiaowen, director of nutrition, Tong Mei Mei psychologists
--- avoidant rejection (also translated into cold type), this type of intimacy people feel uncomfortable, and tend to over rely on the self; such an early age may be a lack of maternal love, we can not develop a trust in others.
second is the type of entanglement (also translated as obsessed type), the individual holds a negative self model and positive other model, they want with others very close relationship, and very alert and sensitive to be rejected or abandoned, so they constantly immersed in and dwell on the relationships among the.
fear --- to avoid the last type, the individual views of themselves and others are negative, their inner desire for intimate relationships, but fear sense and that they avoid intimacy. attachment style, once formed, will in turn affect the individual's awareness of the outside world, and thus individuals have taken the role of coping strategies.
first type, change the daily life depends awareness: awareness get rid of your One does not need or rely on any one dependent; enjoy and live their own; together with their people that peace and joy. alone is not isolated is a meditation, is completely free of parental influence. the only way to feel gratitude to their parents, sufficient alone and free.
the second type, change the view of problem solving: Common There are always available, just look at when and where. but also with a positive attitude towards solving problems, we might try, there will be amazed.
third type, lifestyle changes too self: being completely down self, to help others, so that their feelings from others the value of their own, so to be respected, to be recognized and needs.
TA point of view to their multi-way Guangzhou Dragon Beini, 27 years old, cafe readme: The Guangzhou, Guangzhou, as both love and resist, but the city often feel that they are familiar and unfamiliar, but also close to and resist. the city like a huge machine kept running, I believe every city should take some pressure of people. We Enjoy the convenience of the city, but also on the pressure to bear it. health point of view: save some time for yourself. life as a journey, enjoy the point of view if life will be happy lot. Even through the pain of joy Ye Hao Ye Hao You may think this is the only time, everything would not come. This will find bits and pieces of life are worth treasuring. ash by: free sex life with mm although there is some life in the city difficult but it can have some methods. For example, you can avoid the peak time, tea time, dinner time in the less busy streets, a walk in the middle of the night going round the wind and so on. decompression is the best way to do so pressure to release it before the formation of understanding of their ability to do whatever things. the difficulties as a challenge. Happiness Tip: Do not multi-angle look at their old mm with a perspective of yourself and see others, see the city. more angles, a number of way, and this is the first to benefit their own way. Do not take yourself too different Zhang Tao, 29 years old, consulting and planning aspect of Western Ontario Ltd. Beijing Planning Director Bio: Guangzhou, you can not stop a person before the array mm to Jiuhuashan, ascetic way to go, no car can not ride all the way, walk, nap Road. very casual to resolve out a meal, eating very little, very full strength. but suddenly found a lot of trouble actually are put down, refreshing. This is not to stay in Guangzhou, to me, Guangzhou, you can not always be a place to stop. sometimes it stuck. health point of view: it is important to a good friend . Although, if I trouble, trouble to tell the man was not me, but the same can relieve my stress. I just want to listen. ash by: do not sleep late. empty, yoga, tennis, climbing This would add energy Baiyun Mountain. the spirit of good, the soup, soup of the importance to me as it's essential that in Cantonese. The relations between the sexes should not be too persistent, I will not change each other or their own . tolerance is very important, do not think you are tolerant people, in fact, you are your own tolerance, figured out, you better go to accommodate someone else. Recommendation: to see all those dull, there is a sense of balance. week of election only one meal a day, are good for body and mind. cycle the most important, do not push yourself Wu Guoquan mm, 30-year-old fitness club manager Austrian mm BP readme: This is a very pragmatic city, it is rational. but It is not fixed in their opinions, it receptive to new, good things .6 years ago into the fitness center in Guangzhou, who was with disapproval in fitness, but now, fitness is a lot of ordinary people in ordinary life. This in turn is a delightful city, living facilities, the city has various elements. health point of view: an orderly life is the good life. ash by: 6:30 every morning, I'll get up and go running. running When the day program has been arranged. what a lot of day, but people always say look at me look very busy, in fact, a piece I just do it. This is the plan. Exercise is the best psychological decompression, in a bad mood, the best is to run, run not run far, it is easy to go back to sleep. I advocate eating light, on a 30-year-old man, in order to keep the body, in addition to exercise, diet control is another means. sexes get along with the most important thing is mutual respect, mutual trust, otherwise there will be many arguments and hurt the feelings of advice: Do not put yourself too hard, you can recycle the most important. Shenzhen sure their attitude adjustment Feng Kai, 23 years old, occupation, students Readme: Shenzhen, Shenzhen, the biggest feature is the speed. I grew grew up in Shenzhen, we can say that 20 years have witnessed the development of Shenzhen. strong economic growth has created a fast pace of life of people in Shenzhen . Shenzhen is a young, full of challenges and opportunities of the city, the accumulation of talent across the country, they have brought vitality and effectiveness. health point of view: the times I have not graduated mm, has been living in within the school environment. For the experience of life mainly from the campus. feel more alone in the school better. but this time to participate in the Shenzhen Graduate Shuangxuan Hui, made me feel unprecedented pressure. In order to better live in Shenzhen, I need to improve their ability to make their own learning pace to catch up with the rhythm of development in Shenzhen, just as the times they say it. Recommendation: must keep up its pace. pressure of life in Shenzhen city than other to Great, I in the face of these pressures, that they will adjust their mentality has certainly its own, full of longing for the future. Reporter Comments: Feng Kai, the experience is for the Shenzhen students point of view. As a childhood in Shenzhen kid, he is more understanding of the Shenzhen deep. the city's fast-paced, high pressure gave him a lot of feelings. But on the other hand, let him have a great breakthrough in self-confidence. He knows How in the city to find their place there, too thought about life. He's certainly self-learning ability and improve the views are worth learning. confidently promise potential mm coated, 27-year-old business readme: Shenzhen to me feeling is a feeling full of fashion, fast-paced city. Shenzhen for the residents, the pressure, demanding. Shenzhen is young, full of vitality. For a people who engage in commercial activities, Shenzhen also means more many opportunities and challenges. It the modernization and standardization for business development. health point of view: the views I hold in life and temperament is very consistent with the city of Shenzhen. that is particular about the appearance, but also the pursuit of meaning.'ll like new things, with a very fashionable thing to wrap themselves. But I also seek spiritual balance, will develop good study habits, with the knowledge to increase their competitive strength. to portray itself as a unique style and taste of Shenzhen people. Recommendation: Shenzhen love the people love to fight mm Shenzhen is a fast-paced, high out of the city, there is no tolerance of people is best not to Shenzhen. but if you come to Shenzhen, choose to stay, you should train yourself to adapt to the city rhythm, give full play to their potential. Shenzhen just love people who love to fight. Reporter Comments: As a successful businessman, James Snow is representative of young fashion temperament of the city of Shenzhen. He is a young child growing up in Shenzhen, fully understand the cruelty of the city. Because of this, he would choose to use the stylish way to break down the pressure of their own, as he put it, lifestyle indispensable part in the wide range of fashion to find their own position and style. the election of a lifestyle. high 25-year-old TV presenter mm Rhine Statement: Shenzhen Sunshine, vitality, emotional style. Shenzhen's construction is very young, very young people. Here under the shade trees is difficult to see the grandfather old lady. walking down the street are all in pursuit of a dream, realize the dream of young people. vitality, sunshine, health, high-spirited. we are not stagnant, never falter, and this is the charm of Shenzhen. health point of view: Choose your favorite way of life, be happy. My motto is state did not meet the high-intensity work, why stay in Shenzhen it? can go to Shanghai, to Beijing. I like Shenzhen, because I enjoy working gain a sense of achievement and enjoy the joy of competition and enjoy the fast pace of life. ash method : Exercise and diet combined with the first I have to follow a rule, at 11 pm to sleep, get up at 7 am, five days a week to do the basic movements. serious air pollution on the street, I bought a treadmill at home , listening to music while running, which would also be less boring. I like to dance, I think girls will like dancing, they will go to the gym in the jump, I do, to put some body mechanics at home or play music along with CD jump, is also very good training methods. The second is a healthy diet. do not eat fried, eat Western fast food is forced to work when the staff have bought, and will eat a little. usually I eat chicken and fish more, because the white meat is low in fat and protein are relatively high. The other is green vegetables, many people feel must be fried vegetables, put a lot of oil will smell, and at home I was determined not to do so, basically some of boiled or leaching soy sauce, because a lot of oil which is saturated, it is easily absorbed, easy to gain weight, have to oil it, choose olive oil or tea oil, the human body is very good. There are people that want to lose weight to eat rice I do not think so. light meat is easy to hungry, I eat rice and meat, so that hunger came relatively late, the number of times to eat less to lose weight naturally. snacks and supper will quit the ...